Mr. Pissed Goes to Washington

I’ve been thinking a great deal lately, about what I might say if I were given the opportunity to give the State of the Union address, not as President, but just as a citizen. Let’s give it a go.

My fellow Americans, as I look around this chamber, I see a few people that a thinking person might consider worthy of a modicum of respect and possibly even a few with some degree of integrity and honor remaining despite their years of service to this government. I say “to this government” deliberately and with the distinct intention to offend because I believe that this chamber, with very few exceptions, is indeed in service to this government, not in service to this nation. Essentially, what I’m saying is you are all douchebags to one degree or another.

Source: The Burning Platform

January 26, 2018

I see in the front row, the currently serving members of the Supreme Court…somebody wake Ginsburg up, she needs to hear this. Thanks Clarence. Now, where was I…oh yeah…I wanted to say a few words about the judicial form of douchebaggery.

You sit here now only because in the early days of the Republic, the travesty of Marbury vs. Madison bestowed upon your predecessors unwarranted power and prerogatives initially dangerous and ultimately destructive to liberty. The history of the Court is a litany of encroachment, overreach, and judicial hubris. You have arrogated to yourselves the supposed ultimate authority to dictate to a free people what their founding documents really meant rather than what they really said. In your arrogance, you assume that the citizenry will always submissively accept whatever legal abominations are unleashed upon them by nine black-robed busybodies. I warn you that such a state of affairs cannot last forever. You are not the final arbiters of the nation’s fate.

I see also in attendance, many high-ranking members of the military services and law enforcement. Be assured there will be no slavish adulation directed your way during these comments. As an ex-military man myself, I understand the usually honorable tendency of the people to hold the military and police in high regard. However, let us not forget that the very idea of a standing army was anathema to the Founders as was the concept of a pervasive, over-armed, and aggressive police authority.

The be-medaled mandarins of the military stand ready to unleash unimaginable destruction, not to protect the freedom of the nation and the safety of its people, but to serve the interests of a rotting empire and a narcissistic ruling class. Likewise, the badged and armed minions of the state lash out at the slightest provocation. Admittedly, they too often must deal with the most degraded and violent segments of the population, but that does not excuse behavior that is often beyond the pale. Eaten up with testosterone and drunk with the mindless hero-worship of a brainwashed and fearful populace, they increasingly see themselves as “us” and the rest of us as “them.” Exactly whom do they “protect and serve?”

The tentacles of the American military industrial complex reach into every corner of the globe and have linked up recently with the “long arm of the law.” The inventories of our police forces and regulatory agencies bristle with weapons never intended for their use while lawful gun owners are derided as “redneck gun nuts.” Ordinary citizens are excoriated for objecting to the twin abominations of “no-knock” raids and civil asset forfeiture, while their doors are kicked in and their assets are stolen by the armed drones of the government. Within and without the nation’s borders, you have “gone in search of monsters to destroy.”

Sadly, the very things you took an oath to defend against are what you have become. You have become the enemy, foreign and domestic. You are overbearing, overreaching, and over-funded. Swat raids proliferate at home. Wars proliferate abroad. Congress and the Judiciary bend to the power and influence of military martinets, larcenous lobbyists, and insatiable industrialists who now dictate the terms under which this nation initiates violence. This government makes war on other nations and on its own citizens, spreading chaos abroad, and fomenting rebellion at home.

You send men and women into the world’s and the nation’s shitholes not to secure the safety of the people or the legitimate interests of the nation, but because it seems to be all you know how to do. Armed aggression abroad and jack-booted thuggery at home are becoming the order of the day. Violence is now our first resort rather than our last. You can be sure that the sufferance of freedom-loving people will not last forever and, in the end, the tyrant with a truncheon soul will not hold the field against good men.

I’m sure scattered through the chamber are also many members of the intelligence services. What are you up to now you sneaky little bastards? At last count there are what, seventeen separate agencies that presume to have some overriding need to look into the affairs of anyone and everyone. Under the guise of a false patriotism, you pervert the technological prowess of the nation and turn it upon the citizenry. In your hands, that technology is little more than a club with which to threaten and cow the people.

You and your ilk use the “lights of perverted science,” which Winston Churchill warned us of, against your own people. You are a metastasizing cancer on the body politic and a blight upon a free people. Your ears need plugging, your prying eyes need gouging out, and your tongue needs to be torn from your throat. The entire corrupt edifice you have built needs to go the way of the Carthaginians.

Now to Congress. Five hundred thirty five pieces of scum bobbing around in a sea of money. Venal, grasping, self-serving, and useless, you are as worthless a bunch as ever stained the national fabric. You richly deserve the opprobrium heaped upon you. You imagine yourselves special. You pass laws from which you are exempt. You impose upon the people burdens that you are not willing to carry. If you skin-sacks are the best the nation can muster, then we are in one hell of a fix. If any of you came here and served a term or two and then voluntarily went back home to live under the laws you enacted, the case might be made that you are honorable public servants, but we all know that is not the case.

You ass-clowns come here to stay. You never leave unless you (as the saying goes) get busted with a dead girl or a live boy. Of course, in the degraded state of the national culture, even that might not be enough to be rid of you. Typically, you geezers don’t go home until your drooling and pissing yourselves during committee meetings. In fact, you are all a spreading stain on the trousers of the nation. You are the sphincter of a bloated government, squeezing out laws like turds around which the rest of us must navigate. You are the neighborhood mutt, crapping indiscriminately on the lawns of the people.

I look upon all of you seated here through the eyes of a normal American and I know you for what you are. Sadly, it appears that what I see before me is nothing other than the end product of the democratic process. In truth, you are best described by Saint Paul in the Book of Romans:

“They are filled with every form of wickedness, evil, greed, and malice; full of envy, murder, rivalry, treachery, and spite. They are gossips and scandalmongers and they hate God. They are insolent, haughty, boastful, ingenious in their wickedness, and rebellious toward their parents. They are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know the just decree of God that all who practice such things deserve death, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.”

Romans 1:29-32

As a citizen of this nation, I have little but contempt for all of you. For some unfathomable reason, you yet retain the respect of some portion of the American people. It is certainly more than you deserve. As for me, I will go home and do my best to ignore you all and live my life as much as possible as a free man. You are not welcome in my home or in my life. If you seek a reason for my disdain and that of my like-minded fellow citizens, look for it in your own actions. Why do I feel about you as I do? Because f**k you, that’s why!

Oh, by the way…if you want to know what the State of the Union is, just take a hard look at one another. It’s a reflection of you…or you are a reflection of it. It’s hard to tell really. Either way it sucks.

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